Lunacy
by gloombox
Summary: How the Marauders discovered Lupin's secret. JamesxRemus SiriusxRemus hinted JamesxSirius NON-CON and uber-uke Remus alert (Sorry.)


Disclaimer: I do not own The Marauders or the Harry Potter universe. Insert begrudging statement here.  
  
Warning: Shounen-ai, non-consensual...this means boy on boy action, some of which is against one of the boys will.  
  


Lunacy  


  
It was my ticket to triumph. I would win him with this horrible, shining bit of knowledge. It was so simple, in fact, that I could hardly believe myself when it worked. He came into the common room, four days after the first night of the full room. I spoke to him, trying to sound unaffected, but I knew my voice shook with the anticipation of what my observations had earned me. The unfathomable truth that the fragile boy I so desired harbored a secret that he would go to any lengths to conceal. Yes, I had him.  
As he followed me flatly to the secluded Room of Requirement, I knew that he wasn't expecting me to take him as I did. I locked the door behind us as soon as he had entered, and caught a glimpse of those innocent, honey colored eyes blinking in confusion.  
Remus. Yes...Remus. You've been careful, but not careful enough.  
Wh-what are you talking about, James? He looked panicked.  
You know what I'm talking about. Every full moon so conveniently you disappear. And all those books you read on those foul creatures... I tried to conceal my disgust, and my desire. Now, the matter of it is, I could tell Sirius and Peter. Or--I could choose to ignore this. However, you'd have to do some rather...intense persuading.  
He looked down, on the verge of tears, and murmured hopelessly, Please...please, James, don't hate me...don't tell-- And here I cut him off, trailing my hand from his cheek, to his neck, around his collar, and to the fastening of his robes.  
I want to see the scar. I want...I want all of you...  
That night seemed to go on forever, the dim light and heavy air of the room marred only by cries of agony, bliss, and despair.  
  


*****  


He came to me one week after the full moon. He had been a trembling, nervous wreck since then, and I suspected that his aunt or mum or whatever it was wasn't fairing well. But I wasn't too dumb to notice the way he was around James, and James' unchallenged appraising looks. I had gone to bed that night thinking that I would talk to him about it in the morning, but something woke me before morning. Something soft, wet, and whimpering. Remus sat beside my bed, on the floor. He had pulled out my hand from inside the covers, and held it on his cheek, pressing it against his lips whenever a sob escaped him. I sat up, and looked down at his crying face.  
What in blazes are you doing, Remus...? Come here, you're getting my hand all wet. Yes, that's better. What's with you? I patted him on the back, and pulled him up onto my bed. He struggled to choke back his tears, and blushed when he realized how close I was. I blushed when I realized how close we were. The awkward silence that followed was filled as he suddenly began speaking in a weary, desperate voice. I looked at him with nothing but concern in my heart as he finished his sad story, which had begun when he was only a tiny boy.  
...And...and...J-James...he said if I didn't let him...he s-said he'd tell...and...J-James, he...hurt me...  
What did he do to you, Remus?! And then it hit me. All of James' looks, vague statements, unheard compliments...and I felt so angry. Oh, Remus...I can't believe James would do such a thing! I'll show him--! Now I was interrupted by the horrified look in his eyes.  
No, please, Sirius...! Don't fight with James, I don't matter, really, I...I don't want to upset anyone, I don't want anyone to hate me... He dissolved once again, crying into his hands. I took his wrists into my own hands, pulling them clear of his delicate face. I could see the horror in his eyes, that James might hurt him again. No, that I might hurt him now. It was then that, for the first time, I wanted to show him how gentle desire could be. I wanted him to know that he was safe when I was near. That I, Sirius Black, loved him for all that he was; friend, lover, and monster.  
I'll call you Moony...and when you hear it, you'll know that I love you--completely.  
  


*****  


The next day I left Remus in bed, assuring him that he could afford to miss one day of classes. My true purpose was to confront James. I wanted to know why he did such a thing, and how he could do something so...barbaric. I caught up to him in the common room, where he was too busy talking to his new friend Lily to avoid me. With some confusion on his part I prodded him into one of the spacious broom closets. He eyed me suspiciously, rather beautiful green eyes burning through his small glasses.  
James...I know about Remus. And what you did to him, I said sternly.  
he began slowly,are you jealous? Jealous that we shared that night after the full moon? That I touched him like--this? He started to illustrate, and drawn in by his pompous charisma, I didn't resist. That I kissed him...roughly. I was pushed, wide-eyed, into a wall, where he kissed me by force, pulling on my tie. I indulged for a moment. But I pushed him away.  
James! Have some respect. I'll let it slide, but if Remus so much as sits funny, I'll have your hide.  
James replied slyly, and opened the door. Lily toppled backwards, legs spread momentarily. She had obviously been eavesdropping through the keyhole, as illustrated by her loosened tie and heavy blush. I couldn't help but smirk at this, but before I could say anything, James interjected.  
Err! Yes...! Lily...let's go talk...uhm...elsewhere, and he rushed her off as she babbled hysterically, prodding his chest as if he had been the one eavesdropping.  
The next few weeks passed more easily. The love and trust between Moony and I grew by the day, and eventually we decided to tell Pettigrew Moony's secret. He took it remarkably calmly, but Remus worried that he didn't even understand what a werewolf was, and I was inclined to agree. Regardless of Peter's comprehension, the Marauders were all more at ease, the tension between James and Remus fading. I was a little irked at this, reckoning that Remus owed James at least a few nasty hexes.  
Finally, Moony told me shyly as we rested together that James had apologized most politely, and promised to make it up to him.  
He still seems to think I'm...bad, though, he added, his brow furrowed in distress.  
You're not bad, Moony. He's the rotten one of all of us.  
No...James is a good person, he just gets sort of carried away, and...he doesn't really mean any harm when he... Remus trailed off, trying to justify his friend despite it all. But I knew he was right. James was a good person, even though he could be impulsive, sneaky, and even cruel.  
You're right, I sighed,but you're not bad at all. I think...I think you're beautiful. I heard him inhale softly, and he burrowed his head against my chest. You're so sweet, even after what you've been through, so pure... I kissed the top of his head softly.  
Years after that full moon, we would all remember that those were the best times, cherishing one another through thick and thin. We raised hell, and in chaos and danger we found a common ground. Peter, the lovable bumbler, James, the sly trickster, Remus, the beautiful monster, and I, his keeper. Through all the passion, we were Marauders.


End file.
